It has been a minute since I have posted almost 2 months; I have missed writing and missed interacting with you all. As you may remember I started a new job in October I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep all the balls in the air and well obviously it didn’t work. So to make a very long story short I am back. I know we have all been inundated with Resolutions, Declarations and all the other things that we usually give up on by February. My focus this year is a little different I no longer want to live in doubt or fear of the unknown. Here is a break down of what God has allowed me to see throughout this year.
- I started this blog March 1, 2017- I allowed fear and doubt to keep me from launching earlier I doubted anyone would be interested in what I had to say. To date, my blog has had almost 5,100 hits. I hadn’t looked at my stats since November I was so encouraged to see the level of engagement even with a two-month hiatus. This has fueled me to keep taking chances and sharing my experiences in hopes it would encourage others. The encouragement you guys have given me through your comments, emails and sharing my blog with your friends has been amazing.
- My children-even when they go through tough seasons either from their own doing or due to circumstances beyond their control. I have decided to encourage more and lecture less, to wait to hear from God before I speak so I won’t resort to guilting or shaming. I can always pray. I can always be available without judgment or damnation instead exercise grace and love. I can trust that the same God that has/is working on me and is still working on my children. Most importantly I can move out of God’s way and allow Him to move in their hearts.
- New job-I am learning to not let fear and doubt cause me to question my decisions. To leave a job after 14 years to do something vastly different is a huge deal, but in my mind the transition would be smooth (why did I think that). There is a lot to learn, how am I going to remember it all, this is too hard I can’t (all the conversations I have had with myself). I refused to give into it. My co-workers have been super supportive and encouraging they have said we have all been there you’re doing great. I would take two steps forward and ten back as it relates to my confidence. Guess what? You don’t actually die from being uncomfortable, and unsure. I am getting it and feel more at ease daily still overwhelmed at times but I know it’s a process.
- My Plan- to stop allowing fear and doubt to hold me back. Reading my devotion on the First 5 App a few weeks ago stopped me in my tracks. The question: Does unbelief ever hinder God’s work in your life? Oh my goodness! Really Lord? I have struggled with decision making lately; is this…God’s will for my life. To be honest I have never felt quite sure what His will is for my life. The writer referenced James 1:6-7 Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry” their prayers’ are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open (The Message). This passage was like a bucket of cold water a reality check of sorts.
Trust me I still struggle with exercising, eating healthy, making time for self-care and all the other obligatory New Year’s resolutions; but all those things pale in comparison to living with confidence in what God is equipping me to do. Remembering He is with me and He wants me to be Strong and Courageous in every area of my life. I have to stop throwing my hands up when things don’t line up the way I thought they should but to keep pushing, and striving and trusting God!
I am thankful to look back on 2017 remembering the many challenges of being a wife, mother, daughter, employee, blogger and future entrepreneur. What has encouraged me the most has honestly been the times that I did “it” scared and God was whispering I got you keep going. I can’t let the noise of doubt drown out God’s plan for my life.
Do you struggle with doubt? Worry? What are your plans for 2018?