Depression

 

Depression is not a topic that is frequently talked about; let’s face it mental health particularly depression is not a feel good topic. When talked about it can be awkward and uncomfortable at best.  Most of us have felt deep sadness; the death of a loved one, a breakup, the state of the world you name it we all have felt sadness. What do we do when it’s more than sadness?

I have been seeing a therapist weekly for the past several months; my initial reason for going was to continue working through the many phases of healing from my childhood trauma. I couldn’t figure out what was triggering flash backs, anxiety and just feeling very sad. I certainly didn’t think I was suffering from depression but after further digging through my counseling sessions I was diagnosed with moderate depression.  During my sessions I spent more time talking about the hopelessness I felt at my former job than my past trauma.

Things were complicated and I didn’t want to believe that my job was making me sick; so much of what was happening, I had absolutely no control over (which took me back to that little girl who was victimized so long ago). I hated feeling like I had no control, it was like a heavy weight that was dragging me down.

I could not wrap my mind around this but if I am being honest I knew the situation wasn’t healthy for me but I bargained, talked myself out of leaving it was a constant battle for years. Now, 30 days later and a new job I am a lot more cautious; not timid or anxious but firm when drawing the boundary lines of work and personal. I feel so much lighter, like this burden is slowly being lifted.    Once again learning to Relax, Relate Release (in my Whitley Gilbert voice).

Possible signs of depression:

The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide.

I experienced fatigue, I had a hard time sleeping,  trouble concentrating, mindless eating just feeling BLAH! I never felt suicidal but I did feel hopeless, angry and agitated. I am sharing all of this in hopes that someone will be encouraged to seek help if they are dealing with depression.

As women we wear many hats, as caregivers for our spouses, children, parents we are employees, business owners, etc., if you are anything like me you keep it moving because life doesn’t stop.  This season has taught me to slow down and take personal inventory of where I am, emotionally and not to just brush off what may be brewing under the surface. I thank God for leading me to an awesome therapist (who happens to be a Christian). My prayer was to find a good fit, not some weirdo (which I have had in the past) or someone that was super aggressive, and pushy. Kristin has been a Godsend.

Have you ever experienced depression? Did you see a therapist?

I was very hesitant to share this post I started writing this several months ago but just couldn’t hit publish. I was nervous how it would be received;  but tonight the timing feels right.

 

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6 Comments

  1. Kelly
    November 9, 2017 / 6:38 am

    Praise God for giving you the courage to publish. Wow, I can truly relate. I have been at my current job for almost 12 years which is way longer than I’ve needed to be there. I have felt “stuck” for a long time but have been unable to move. Not fully understanding why and giving myself excuses like it’s close to home and I love the friends I have met there. The flip side to those reasons is being in a toxic environment, being stagnant with no room for growth and doing the same job day after day. It’s almost robotic now. The worst part is the affect it has had on my health. A 40 pound weight gain over the past 12 years due to my self medicating with food.

    Karen today’s post and your “Hello Goodbye” post have inspired me to take a deeper look at my life and ask myself some tough questions. I can seek God and trust Him on many things, but this situation is one I have kept to myself and not asked for His help or guidance.

    As we approach the end of the year and embark on a new one, do we remain “stuck” or do we allow God to heal our broken places that no one sees but Him? I’m tired of the merry-go-round ive been on and all the extra weight that’s causing my health to deteriorate right before my eyes.

    Girl keep it coming. Allow Gods healing to take place for yourself and others by shining the light on our dark and hidden places. I am inspired to move now. I’m only stuck if I allow myself to be. The word of God says I’m more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. Thanks Karen for sharing. God is using you to help start the healing process for many so we can live freely and do what we were created to do.

    Looking forward to more.

  2. A
    November 9, 2017 / 6:51 am

    I’m so glad you did!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

  3. November 9, 2017 / 8:43 am

    Therapy is AWESOME! I really wish there wasn’t such a stigma attached to it, it can give such clear insights to our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. So happy you found a great therapist that helped you work your way towards the best choices to support your wholeness.

  4. November 9, 2017 / 10:36 am

    Here’s a really good article from Christianity Today entitled, “Why I See a Counselor.” It’s good insight as to why our BFF’s can’t always help us through the hardest parts of our journey. It shows the multiple facets of being a woman: the strong leader, and the broken girl, and how both need nurturing and acknowledgement. Hope this is helpful; it really resonates with me.
    http://www.christianitytoday.com/women-leaders/2016/february/why-i-see-counselor.html?utm_source=womenleaders&utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_term=24658459&utm_content=546075130&utm_campaign=email

  5. Mander
    November 9, 2017 / 11:01 pm

    So glad you shared! I️ know it was hard, but you are being so transparent and God is stretching and moving you to help, educate, and encourage the rest of us. Love you!!

  6. Joyce Riley
    November 10, 2017 / 8:50 am

    An awesome article Niecy! Thanks for helping us and encouraging us as you help and encourage yourself. Be blessed in the Lord. Love you

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